Showing posts with label Testimony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Testimony. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Beautiful Heartbreak
This past Sunday, we had two lessons at church that discussed "trials" and "heartaches" in life. We talked about Joseph Smith and some of the most difficult times in his life. We talked about how it is through these hard times that we become the people we are meant to become in the eyes of God.
I have, for obvious reasons, thought a lot about these very topics over the past year. (in fact...it was one year ago last week that we had our 20 week ultrasound with Joshua and found out about his heart conditions) I really do feel like there have been a lot of blessings that have come into our life because of our experience with Joshua, especially our relationship with God. We had to make a choice early on last year; the choice was between drawing on our faith in God and trusting Him or turning our back on God and just being angry at Him. I tried the angry thing for about 1 hour and knew I couldn't handle that. So, trusting in Him was the only option and I have never looked back.
Now, 1 year after our journey with Joshua began, almost 8 months since he was born, and 5 1/2 months since he past away, I can look back and see the blessings and tender mercies more clearly. God has been with our family every step of this journey and I have no doubt that He will continue to be with our family forever. We are stronger people because of our little Joshua.
Another dear friend of mine and fellow angel mom posted this music video on her facebook page yesterday. This beautiful song was exactly what I have been thinking about for a long time. I love how Hillary Weeks does not down play the difficulty of our situations. What we have to go through is hard and it is ok to want it to be gone. But, how wonderful it is to see where we end up when we can finally have the eyes to recognize our change. Our trials truly do become a "Beautiful Heartbreak".
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Happy Easter
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Witnessing the start of Eternal Families
This weekend, Tim and I were able to attend two wedding- in other words, two new eternal families began. It was wonderful.
On Friday, we attended the reception of one of our youth that we used to teach in Sunday school. As we walked into the reception and saw her glowing face, I couldn't help but think about my own wedding. Boy, we had no idea what journey we were about to embark on or how important it really was that we were married in the temple. I looked at this beautiful bride and hoped they would keep the gospel close to their hearts as life began. As the trials of life started, I hope they will come to realize just how blessed they really are to have an eternal family because they got married in the temple.
Also, we were able to attend the sealing of one of Tim's really good friend yesterday. Oh, what a perfect thing for a grieving mother's heart!!! I loved witnessing the start of an eternal marriage! It was such a good reminder of the eternal perspective.
Oh, sweet is the peace the gospel brings!! I still ache to have my little boy here, but going to the temple yesterday, I am reminded that I have reason to rejoice!! "Oh, death, where is they sting?" It is definitely muted because of our Savior and His gospel. Jesus Christ has made it possible for me to hold my precious boy again and for us all to live together as an eternal family. When I ponder these eternal truths, the ache in my heart turns to a burning of peace and joy. Only the power of truth being testified could do that to a grieving mother's heart.
Oh, what a wonderful way to spend a weekend!! Oh, what a beautiful reminder of how wonderful our Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation really is! Oh, how blessed will be the day when I will, I WILL, see Joshua again. Oh, how wonderful that I have an eternal family.
On Friday, we attended the reception of one of our youth that we used to teach in Sunday school. As we walked into the reception and saw her glowing face, I couldn't help but think about my own wedding. Boy, we had no idea what journey we were about to embark on or how important it really was that we were married in the temple. I looked at this beautiful bride and hoped they would keep the gospel close to their hearts as life began. As the trials of life started, I hope they will come to realize just how blessed they really are to have an eternal family because they got married in the temple.
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| Our wedding almost 5 years ago. |
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| The beautiful couple as they start their own eternal family. |
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| The Mount Timpanogas Temple |
Oh, what a wonderful way to spend a weekend!! Oh, what a beautiful reminder of how wonderful our Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation really is! Oh, how blessed will be the day when I will, I WILL, see Joshua again. Oh, how wonderful that I have an eternal family.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Dear Joshua
At Joshua's funeral, Tim and I both felt very strongly that we needed to speak. We were the ones that knew Joshua best and we were the ones that had the most to say. I wanted to share the words that I spoke at the funeral. I am grateful I have them written down because on the hard days, I can read through the words and the spirit of the Lord brings back the peace that I felt when I first wrote them.
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I am overwhelmed by the love and support we have received
over the last few months and especially the past few days. It is sometimes hard to believe that a little
person who was here for such a short amount of time could have impacted so many
people. I am sorry for those of you who
did not get to meet Joshua, but I hope you have felt his sweet spirit today and
that we can help you understand a little of who he was.
I have thought long and hard about what I want to say
today. So many things have been running
through my head. However, the night
after Joshua’s passing, I had a very difficult time sleeping and decided to
just start typing my thoughts. They
ended up being a letter to my boy and I wanted to share that letter with you
today.
My dear sweet Joshua-
Oh what a blessing the last two and a half months have been
for me as your mother. As I ponder your
short life, I can’t help but think about why you were sent to us and what your
mission was on this earth. Some may
question whether a spirit can fulfill a mission in such a short amount of time,
but as one of the people closest to you, I can testify that you were able to
complete so much. The Lord is so pleased
with the way you dealt with your trials and all you were able to
accomplish. Let me outline just a few of
those accomplishments.
1)
First, you radiated the Holy Spirit. I can’t tell you the countless times people
would walk into your room and make note of how special you were. Every nurse, every doctor, every visitor, and
even other patients would comment on you.
I can testify that the Lord’s love shined through those beautiful, dark
eyes and he was able to use you as his instrument to help people feel that
love. Just look at all the people that
have come here today to celebrate you…even those you did not meet felt
that. What a special gift the Lord gave
you and you used it perfectly.
2) Next, you taught us to live in the moment. So often here in mortality, Joshua, we
sometimes forget how short of a time we have here. You probably don’t really understand that completely
because of your situation, but as we get older sometimes we take for granted
how much time we have and we tend to put things off. When you were first born, we had no idea how
long we would be able to keep you, so your father and I cherished every single
moment. Every snuggle, every kiss on the
cheek, every smile and pleasant look, and even every cry. Every second of your short life was a
blessing. Even the smallest, seemingly insignificant moments have become
cherished memories. I now know that it
is in those moments that the truest joy can be found and I will transfer that
lesson to every other aspect of my life.
3) Next, you helped me realize how close we are to
heaven. Joshua, I could always tell that
the veil between us and Heavenly Father was so thin for you. Sometimes, you would be looking up at the
plain, white ceiling and just be staring at what seemed like nothing. Then,
suddenly, your face would light up as if you were ready to smile. I would get
chills as the Lord testified to me that you were looking at your guardian
angels. They were giving you the
strength to hang on just a little longer and I know they were there to guide
you to heaven when that time came. I
like to think that all of us have a few guardian angels, especially during the
hard times of our life. If we can humble
ourselves and become more like you, little Joshua, the veil can open for us and
we will feel the Savior near.
4) Finally, you helped me understand the Plan of
Salvation. I remember over the years
before you came into my life, I questioned how strong my testimony was. I never questioned that I knew the gospel was
true, but I didn’t really know if it would stand a true test, mostly because it
had never really been tested before.
Joshua, you were the test I needed to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt,
that this gospel is true. I know that
you are waiting for us on the other side of the veil. I know that Heavenly Father welcomed you with
open arms and will watch over you until we can join you. I know that you are surrounded by family that
loves you, especially your great grandparents, your cousin Tyler, and your
cousin Kate. We are all more determined to live our life in such a way that we
can be with you again in the Celestial Kingdom.
I promise you, Joshua, that I will do everything I can to be with you
once again and I can’t wait for that blessed day!
Joshua, I thank you for completing your mission so
perfectly. Until we meet again, I will
miss those beautiful dark eyes. I will
miss kissing those chubby cheeks and the way you smelled so sweet. I will miss snuggling you up in a blanket and
helping you fall asleep when it was hard and you weren’t feeling good. I will miss your screams when I changed your
diapers, and how relieved you were when you had the clean one on. I will miss your presence in the room as I
played with your older brother. I will
miss giving you a bath, especially since that always made you feel better. Joshua, I will miss all of you, oh so
terribly.
But, while the immediate
hurt is so strong, I can’t help but think about how wonderful it will be to
raise you in the millennium. It will be
a time of great joy, Joshua, when all the world will be under Christ’s reign
and Satan will be bound. We will be able
to live together and I will be able to love you without any other worries. You will be able to live out your childhood
without hospitals, surgeries, medicines, or pokes…just pure happiness, like
what childhood should be. You will be
able to run around with all the other kids without worry of weariness or being
left out because of physical complications. Joshua, it will be such a special
time and I can’t wait to have that perfect time with you and the rest of our
family.
I am reminded of what the Prophet Joseph
Smith taught. He also lost children and
had a very unique perception on the subject.
He said, “The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may
escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they
were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered,
instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil,
and we shall soon have them again.” I do
rejoice for you, Joshua. I am so glad
you are in a place of happiness.
You took a little piece of my heart with you back to Heaven,
but my testimony of the gospel will sustain me until we can meet again and my
heart is made whole. I know you will do
well with whatever task Heavenly Father has in store for you now. As your mother, I give you this
advice…complete it as well and perfectly as you did your mission here on
earth. You are a powerful tool for our
Heavenly Father and I can’t wait to hear about what He has you do for him on
the other side of the veil.
Good bye for now, sweet Joshua. Thank you for letting me be your mom. May God be with all of us left behind until that blessed
day when we meet again.
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