On the 13th of this month, we hit the 5 month mark since little Joshua returned to Heavenly Father.  It was a Saturday and I had just spent the Thursday and Friday before that at a business meeting and had been going non-stop for about 48 hours.  I was extremely tired...so Tim was sweet enough to take Logan for the day and I spent most of that Saturday watching TV and sleeping. 

I don't remember much of what I watched, but I do remember thinking about my Joshua boy a lot.  It was a day of reflection...and a day of self evaluation.  I thought about how I have gotten back into some sort of routine.  I thought about how life has kept going, even though Joshua is not with us.  But mostly, I thought about how I haven't changed as much for the better as I would have liked. 

I feel like I have slipped back into everyday things and have stopped focusing as much on the things that matter most.  I remember when Joshua was here and the weeks that followed his passing that I had cut out all the "fluff" in my life.  As I reflected on things now, I realized that fluff has slowly made it's way back in.

So, I have recommitted myself to focusing on the things that matter most: namely my family and my God.  Doing little things each day to draw myself closer to the ones I love.  Yes, that is the legacy I want Joshua to have.  I am so grateful that I have my little angel to keep me focusing on the right things.  I hope I can use his memory to continue to change my life for the better.