I have met a number of angel moms over the past year.  Actually, many of them I already knew, but I see them in a much different light now.  There is a very special, unexplainable bond between two moms who have both lost a child.  We don't have to say a word to each other or even meet in person.  We just get each other...we can love each other in a way that no one else can.

Many of these angel moms have gone a very long time without their child.  10 years, 20 years....some even 30 years since the passing of their children.  Honestly, when I think that in 30 years that will be me saying that, I get tired.  It just seems so long...so much time has to pass before I see my little boy again.  Sometimes, I just take a deep breath and sigh...so much time.

But my perspective has changed a bit.  My mother was talking with a good friend of hers who lost her daughter over 30 years ago.  This wonderful woman is done raising the rest of her kids and is retired.  She is at the end of her life, not really expecting to die any time soon, but knowing that it is coming sooner rather than later.  It was interesting to hear her perspective.  When she thinks about seeing her daughter again, she gets an excited jump in her heart thinking about it.  She described it as the feeling you get when you are anticipating a trip to Europe that you have been planning for years and it is now only a year away.  There is light at the end of this tunnel and she can see that light much more clearly than she has before.

Oh, time can seem like such a burden.  Sometimes, it can seem like it is working against you.  But, when I heard about this woman's perspective, I couldn't help but get excited.  She has lived a very full life with so much for her to be proud of, and the Lord to be proud of.  Now, as she waits the last little bit of time before seeing her daughter again, she can do so with excited anticipation, knowing that she will indeed see her soon.

I want to spend my 20, 30, 40 years (however long the Lord needs) living my life so I can feel that same anticipation.  While it is still overwhelming to think of that much time needing to pass, I know that it is time I am suppose to have.  Time that I can use to do a lot of good in the world.  Time that the Lord has given me that I need to take advantage of.  I hope the Lord can help me know how best to use my time...and that I will be worthy to live with all my family, including Joshua, someday.