Before I get to the birthday, I wanted to review our Easter day yesterday.  Honestly, it was way more emotional then I thought.  I was excited to have a day dedicated to the glorious message of the resurrection and the joy that comes with that.  We went to church and I realized quickly that it was going to be emotionally draining.  While it was wonderful to think about the resurrection, I was definitely not ready for the shear amount the topic was discussed.  Of course, that is what we do on Easter, but talking and thinking about it for a full 24 hours really just made it more obvious that he is not with me, and it was hard.  Needless to say, I was emotionally drained by the end of the day.



I was, however, really glad I was able to spend the evening with our wonderful family.  I wanted to be around other people I love.  So, late afternoon, most of us met at the cemetery.  I thought about doing something like a spiritual thought, but in the end, we just hung out there for about an hours and chatted.  It was really nice to be together and feel Joshua's spirit. After that, we went back to our house for dinner and more being together.  I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful and amazing family. 


Now, for Joshua's 4 month birthday, I decided to write him another letter.  Happy Birthday, sweet boy.

Dear Joshua-
I can't believe you would have been 4 months old today.  I found myself thinking about the day you were born.  It is hard to believe it was only 4 months ago...it sometimes seems like an eternity. 
Joshua, your dad and I were talking yesterday about how much we miss you.  Yesterday was Easter and we found ourselves missing you a lot.  With all the festive events of the weekend, I also found myself thinking how sad it was that you weren't here to do some of those things with us.  Then, I realized something...you were so sick that we probably wouldn't be doing anything like what we did this weekend.  We just couldn't do those things with you because you were so fragile. 

So, your dad and I made a commitment...to use the time we have now to keep our family close and be productive.  We have a new appreciation for the things we are able to do, we want to keep doing them!  We know that you will be there with us in our hearts and we hope our family and our relationships will continue to grow. 

Your life continues to change ours, little man.  I know you are doing great things on the other side...mostly because I see what you have done on this side.  I love you more than you will ever know.  I love you, I love you, I love you.  

Your Mother