Thursday, April 18, 2013

It's ok to feel

I have had a few opportunities over the past few weeks to ponder what our attitudes should be while we are going through a difficult time. So often, during hard times, we are told to find the lesson we are suppose to learn or be grateful for the trials we have because they make us into who we are suppose to be.

Now, I would be the first person to tell you that trials and hardships can and mostly are gifts wrapped in unattractive paper. However, I will also be the first to tell you that it is not all warm fuzzys to have to go through something hard.

So, with all this on my mind, I couldn't help but think about all the information I received about the grieving process. While there are many views on the topic, there was always something similar in every philosophy: allow yourself time to feel sad, frustrated, and/or angry. This is not only understandable, it is healthy in order to eventually discover your new normal.

I think this principle holds true for any difficult trial we have to go through. Are you having a hard time finding a job? It's ok to be frustrated. Are your children pushing your buttons more and more? It's ok to get angry. Does it sometimes feel like you are the only person in the world who could possibly understand what you are going through? It is ok to feel lonely.

What is important in all of this is to not let yourself be consumed by these emotions. In fact, I think they give you something to put at the feet of Christ. We can get on our hands and knees and pray for The Lord to carry some of the burden. And you know what? He will. I have experienced the lightness of my burdens lifted over the past months especially.

Very few people I know feel thankful for their trial when they are going through them. And, lets be honest, no matter how much you learned, most people don't want to go through that hard time again. And you know what...that is ok.

When you are ready, give your burdens over to our Savior. As the speaker at our luncheon said, "If you are going through hell, don't build a house there." Allow yourself to be frustrated, angry, discouraged, frightened, and sad. When you are ready, give your burdens to The Lord. Until then, give yourself permission to feel. It is part of mortality.

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Joshua Kent Ipson was born December 1, 2012 with a very complicated combination of congenital heart defects. After 2 1/2 months of fighting for his life, he passed away on February 13, 2013. We invite you to share our experiences as we grieve his loss, rejoice in God's plan, & keep Joshua's message of hope alive.
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