Friday, May 31, 2013
Two nights ago, I was putting my little Logan boy down for bed. He was feeling a little scared, so I stayed in the room to help him calm down. I stood at the side of his bed and ran my fingers through his feathery hair. As I watched him fall asleep, I couldn't help but say a prayer of thanks to my Heavenly Father for this sweet boy.
While we were in the hospital with Joshua, I cried many times feeling like Logan was being neglected. He was being bounced from different houses and being taken care of by people other than me and Tim. Even though I knew these people loved him, I struggled with not being with him. I wondered why Joshua couldn't have been my first child so I wouldn't feel the guilt of being away from Logan.
Now, I know why. I needed Logan to help my heart heal. Even that awful morning Joshua passed away, Logan was there with his big smile and simple, humble outlook on life to keep us smiling. He has given me purpose the passed few months; he has given me reason to get up in the morning and given me something to do other than think. The Lord knew, way back when my healthy Logan was born, just how important he would be in my life. The Lord knew that the best medicine for my grieving heart would be my children. While my heart still aches for little Joshua, I am so grateful for my little Logan boy...my living tender mercy.
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- The Headstone is Here!
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- ▼ May (15)
Angel Mom (9) Anniversaries (12) Atonement (4) Being Home (4) Blessing Day (1) Cardiac ICU (14) Cardiology Appointments (9) Cath lab (2) Children's Surgical Unit (2) Diagnosis (3) Echo (1) Eternal Families (4) Family Pictures (2) Feeding Tube (2) Frustrations (3) Funeral (5) Gospel Study (11) Grief (28) Heart Aches (7) House cleaning (1) Hypoglycemia (1) Intermountain Healing Hearts (4) Joshua Memorial (17) Joshua's Dad (2) Joshua's mission (3) Logan-Big Brother (7) Mommy necklaces (2) New chapter (4) Oxygen (2) Part of my Heart is in Heaven (1) Pregnancy Journey (11) Primary Children's Medical Center (19) Snuggles (2) Starting over (3) Strength from the Lord (16) Surgery (16) Surgery recovery (12) Testimony (4) The Big Decision (3) The Birth (2) The morning he passed away (1) The Name (1) Things that Matter Most (12) Time (5) Waiting Game (3) Welcome to Holland (1)