I wanted to share this beautiful imagery with all of you because I really fell like it represents how I feel.  Thank you to my new friend from the Intermountain Healing Hearts Angel Moms group for writing the ending of this story and helping us all put our feeling into words.

There is a story that circulates support groups and blogs of families and patients with heart defects. It tells of a beautiful day in Heaven when Jesus is rounding up his tiniest angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels says to Jesus “I don’t want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss you”. He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be okay, and that he is just going for a visit. He is still not swayed on this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, “How about if you leave half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will that be okay?” The angel smiles and says, “I guess that will work”. But the little angel is still a little scared. “Will I be okay with only half of my heart?” Jesus replies, “I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine.” Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says “When you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your heart. And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn between two loves.” -Author Unknown
I wanted to finish this story for Joshua.

When he returned to Heaven, amid tears of joy and hugs in reunion, Jesus asked, “How was your turn on Earth?” The little angel replied, “It was beautiful- so many arms of warmth and love to hold me, smiles through teary eyes to greet me. A king couldn’t have asked for more!” Then tears appeared in Joshua’s eyes. “My sweet angel, what is wrong?” Jesus asked and pulled him close. ” I think when I left, I broke their hearts, ” he whispered.
“Quietly, Jesus reached in His pocket and pulled out the other half of Joshua’s heart. Tied to it with fine silvery threads were the pieces of hearts, of all those the little angel had touched in his brief life. Even as he looked the chain grew and grew.
” My dear little one,” Jesus said, “You did not break their hearts. You brought a piece of them back with you. And one day, they, like you, will return to me for the other piece of their hearts.”

Luke 12:34 -For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.