Everyone has had those experiences with time that just seem strange.  You know the ones I mean....the morning you wake up and you KNOW it is a Tuesday, but you could have sworn it was Friday already...or that moment you look at the clock and expect it to say 2pm and it is really 5pm and you better start thinking about making dinner...or you look at the calendar and it says it is the 28th and you wonder where the last 2 weeks went. Time really is a funny thing.


It has been one week since Joshua passed away.  Only seven days since that crazy morning.  As I think about all that has happened, I can hardly believe we fit it all into seven day.  Not only did we plan and complete his funeral, all the family that has come and gone, and all the cleaning and straightening out we have done, but all the emotional changes I have gone through.  I think about how I was emotionally 7 days ago, I can't believe how much better I am doing already.  It doesn't seem like it should be, but it is...but it feels like it has been so much longer than a week.

Another funny thing about time:  I have had a lot of people ask me how I am doing and feeling and the only way I can explain it is that I feel like I am going back in time...back in time before we had Joshua.  Suddenly, I am able to do all the things I was doing before...we can go to the library whenever we want, I can run to the store without worrying about an oxygen tank and feeding tube, and it is just me and Logan again while dad is at work.  It really does feel like I have gone back in time, but I am a completely different person.  Joshua really did change me as a person.  I feel closer to my Savior. I am finding myself worrying less about things that are just not important any more.  I hug and kiss Logan a lot more.  Really, I have gone back in time, but it is not the same.

It got me thinking about how often we complain about the stage of life we are in...or complain about wanting to go back to another time.  After the last few days, I would not recommend it.  I have thought so many times that I would love to go back and do my freshman year of college again.  I thought about how nice it would be to have my wedding again.  So many times, I have heard people talk about "the good old days."  In reality, we should all just be happy with where we are in life and be grateful that time keeps moving forward.  Each day, we change just a little bit.  The Lord has given us experiences in the order we need them to happen.  It feels so much better to be moving forward with life, to be growing and experiencing new things.  That is the natural thing to do.  I hope we can all be grateful for the things we have experienced, learn from the past, and look forward to the future.