Well, this weekend we took the plunge and ordered little Joshua's headstone.  I wasn't sure how it was going to be, but it actually turned out to be alright.

Tim and I walked into the monument place with Logan and the very first thing I noticed was a group of middle-aged people all huddled over a computer with one of the workers.  I quickly realized that this must be a group of siblings working on the design for one of their parents (most likely).  It was another one of those moments I realized I shouldn't be doing something like this yet...and definitely not for one of my children.  I am only 25 years old...I should not know the ins and outs to buying a headstone!  It is not the natural course of things and it was strange.

Then, I was surprised to see the number of samples they had for infant stones.  I have realized this before, but there are way too many families out there that have experienced loosing a baby.  I noticed this another time when I was looking at the other headstones around Joshua's grave and realized how many children were buried right around him.  So often, I have felt alone in my feelings.  There can't be anyone in the world that understands what it must be like to loose a child...it just is not natural.  However, there ARE families who know...and way more than you probably ever knew.  You would be so surprised the number of letters and notes I received from people I have known my whole life who lost children at one point.  While it is so sad to think that others had to go through this heart ache, it is comforting to know that there are people in the world who understand what it feels like.

Finally, Tim and I were so incredibly happy with how the headstone design turned out.  We were able to get all the elements we wanted.  Honestly, I can't wait to have something tangible to look at and visit when we go to the cemetery.  For me, there is something very therapeutic about visiting Joshua's grave and I know having the headstone will make it even better. 

All in all, I am grateful we were able to get that done, however strange or unnatural it may seem.  They told us that it should be done in about 4-6 weeks and they should be able to place it once it is completed.