Dear Joshua-
Today is your 3 month birthday. Days like today are some of the hardest to have you gone.  I think about what we might have been doing with you...maybe you would have passed your swallow study and we would be working on bottle feeds.  Maybe we would have met with early intervention and start helping you lift up your head.  Maybe you would be smiling more.  But, most of all, your spirit would be radiating just as strongly.

Joshua, that is what I miss the most right now...your sweet spirit.  Whenever I was with you, I couldn't help but feel the Lord with us.  I remember that more than ever now that I don't have it.  Suddenly, I have to do what everyone else has to do to feel the Savior near...I have to read my scriptures, say my prayer, and really work a little harder.  However, I find myself thriving on these things...because it is when the spirit of the Lord is with me, I feel your presence as well.  I am working extra hard now, Joshua, to stay in tune with the Spirit so I can feel your presence.  I know you are always with me and I just need to keep doing the right so I can feel you.

I have made it a goal of mine, Joshua, to help others feels your sweet spirit even though you are gone. You changed so many lives and I feel driven to keep changing lives with your spirit that lingers.  I hope you will help me as I figure out the best way to reach those that would benefit most by knowing you.

I love you, sweet boy.  I think about you every day.  Happy 3 month birthday.