Today, Logan really wanted to watch the "Josh movie."  It is the slideshow that the mortuary put together for us for the viewing and Logan LOVES watching it.  I usually do pretty well when we watch it, but today, it was not so easy.  Today, I felt the ache in my heart again and my arms felt very empty.

Grief is a really funny things sometimes.  Just when you think you are "getting over it,"  it hits you again when you least expect it.  This is why I think people say one never really gets over loosing a child.  I think the time between each "episode" gets longer and longer, they ever completely go away. 

I have been thinking about why God created this thing called Grief.  If we really are going to see our loved ones again and they really are in a better place, why do we have to go through this thing called grief? After much pondering, I have come to the conclusion that grief is a manifestation of the love we have for the person who is gone.  We grieve because we miss them.  We grieve because we want them close.  We grieve because they are not in our presence anymore.  We greive because we loved them. 

Once I thought about that, I find the process of grieving a little more tolerable.  I loved Joshua so much and my life is better because he was here.  I have these sad days because I loved him so much.  It makes me feel a little better about this hard thing called "grief".