A few days ago, my husband and I were getting all of our information together so we can get our taxes done.  We have them done by a family member and they like to get them done early.

Anyway, I pulled out my calendar from last year to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything for mileage for my business.  I was struck hard as I realized what a completely different person I was last year.  Things that were so important to me before I just can't even imagine spending my time doing.  I went through the calendar week by week and I saw things like "Ultrasound appointment, 3:30pm" on July 25 (the appointment we found out about Joshua's heart conditions), "Dr. Schemmer, 1:30" (Our perinatalogist...specialized OB that would help with the delivery), "Dr. Su-Echotest, 9AM" (Cardiology and one of many fetal echos we had done."  By far, the hardest was seeing December 4 say "Scheduled Induction, be at hospital by 7AM"...we never made it to that day, but it was a reminder of Joshua's birth and the beginning of his earthly mission.

I was so incredibly emotional as I went through this calendar.  I felt like these events were centuries ago....sometimes it felt like a whole different lifetime.  I guess I was emotional because I am still trying to figure out my new normal, and it is not an easy transition.