I have pondered the events of that day and the message from Elder Wirthin in this video.  It truly was one of, if not the, darkest day in the history of the world.  In fact, the whole earth mourned the loss of it's Savior.  I can't help but think about how often we have to go through dark times.  I have had days since Joshua has passed that have felt dark...just sad and missing him so much I thought my heart was going to burst.  I am definitely living out a time in my life that I would consider one of my "Fridays".

I can't help but think of Mary (the Mother of Jesus).  Oh, how I think about her and wish I could have given her a big hug on that Friday.    Sure, she probably had been taught it would happen.  Sure, she probably had a testimony of the Savior's role in the Plan of Salvation.  But she had lost her son in a brutal and awful way...and it just hurts a lot.

But Easter Sunday came!  I can only imagine Mary's emotions took a complete 180 when she found out about Christ's resurrection. Jesus Christ broke the bands of death...but for her, she had her son back.

Yes...I may be living in a time of my life that I would consider a "Friday".  But all I can do to stay above the turmoil in my heart is to ponder and have faith that Sunday will indeed come.  I will, just like Mary, be able to embrace my little boy again.  I will, because of my Savior, have my whole family together someday.

Good Friday was a day of darkness...the darkest of all days.  But it was proceeded by the most glorious just a few days later.  May we all enjoy pondering the blessed events of that marvelous weekend.



 

Learn more about our Savior (His life, mission, and what it means for you) by clicking here

I was sitting at my kitchen table this morning with my toddler.  I had that weird sensation of having gone back in time...but there was another strange feeling as well.  Was our whole experience with Joshua just a dream? 

I think it is because Joshua really was only here for such a short amount of time.  The more time that passes since Joshua died, the more I realize how short a time he was here.  The amount of space in my memory bank that is required is so little...there was just not a lot of time to remember.  It really does have the same effect as remembering a dream.

Also, I think it goes back to how strange it was to go back to the life I was living before Joshua was born.  Nothing changed much (except me and Tim).  The people are the same, my house is the same, the neighborhood is the same, our errands are the same...there is just this dream-like experience of having a perfect spirit in our life for two months stuck in the middle of these two seemingly identical realities.

However, the more I think about it, I can remember things that you don't have in dreams: the touch of his cheeks, the feel of his breathing, the look in his eyes right before he smiled.  These were real and definitely NOT a dream. 


When I get in this state of mind, I find it very helpful to look at this picture.  I am so grateful for this moment caught on camera...a moment frozen in time.  I stare at it for a while and then close my eyes and remember it all.  I am looking into Joshua's eyes and gently stroking his cheeks.  I remember Logan running around and Tim trying to settle him.  I remember the photographer.  But really, it was all about me and Joshua.  I cling to this memory so tightly because it reminds me that it wasn't a dream.  Joshua was real and he is waiting for me and the rest of our family to join him on the other side...someday. 

Well, this weekend we took the plunge and ordered little Joshua's headstone.  I wasn't sure how it was going to be, but it actually turned out to be alright.

Tim and I walked into the monument place with Logan and the very first thing I noticed was a group of middle-aged people all huddled over a computer with one of the workers.  I quickly realized that this must be a group of siblings working on the design for one of their parents (most likely).  It was another one of those moments I realized I shouldn't be doing something like this yet...and definitely not for one of my children.  I am only 25 years old...I should not know the ins and outs to buying a headstone!  It is not the natural course of things and it was strange.

Then, I was surprised to see the number of samples they had for infant stones.  I have realized this before, but there are way too many families out there that have experienced loosing a baby.  I noticed this another time when I was looking at the other headstones around Joshua's grave and realized how many children were buried right around him.  So often, I have felt alone in my feelings.  There can't be anyone in the world that understands what it must be like to loose a child...it just is not natural.  However, there ARE families who know...and way more than you probably ever knew.  You would be so surprised the number of letters and notes I received from people I have known my whole life who lost children at one point.  While it is so sad to think that others had to go through this heart ache, it is comforting to know that there are people in the world who understand what it feels like.

Finally, Tim and I were so incredibly happy with how the headstone design turned out.  We were able to get all the elements we wanted.  Honestly, I can't wait to have something tangible to look at and visit when we go to the cemetery.  For me, there is something very therapeutic about visiting Joshua's grave and I know having the headstone will make it even better. 

All in all, I am grateful we were able to get that done, however strange or unnatural it may seem.  They told us that it should be done in about 4-6 weeks and they should be able to place it once it is completed. 

One more week until Easter.  This year, Easter has become so much more to me than just a holiday with candy and bunnies.  The meaning behind these celebrations rings more clear and more meaningful than ever before.  We celebrate the resurrection of our Savior and all the blessings that come with it.  Oh, what joy fills my soul when I ponder this great truth: Our Savior Lives.

In this month's issue of the Ensign, one of the leaders of the church (President Henry B. Eyring) shares his simple and powerful testimony of this great event.  One paragraph stood out to me:

Because Jesus Christ broke the bands of death, all of the children of Heavenly Father born into the world will be resurrected in a body that will never die. So my testimony and yours of that glorious truth can take away the sting of the loss of a beloved family member or friend and replace it with joyful anticipation and firm determination.

It is because of my Savior that there is any hope.  It is because of my Savior that I feel any peace.  It is because of my Savior that we will all be resurrected and death's power is overcome.  It is because of my Savior that I have reason to rejoice.

As we approach the blessed holiday of Easter next Sunday, I hope each of you will take a few minutes to ponder the blessed truth of the resurrection and our Savior's role in our life. I can't wait to see my little Joshua again and for my whole family to be together again.


To read the full article, click here.
For more information on the doctrine of the Plan of Salvation from the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints, click here.

This week, I had the wonderful opportunity to attend my husband's sweet cousin's baby shower.  I am so excited for them!  This is their first baby and I know they are going to be wonderful parents.  I had to go and make sure they knew how thrilled I was for them! I was, however, very nervous about going as well.  This was the first time I would be surrounded by baby things...and everyone would be talking about babies.  I knew it would be hard, so I braced myself for what might be a difficult evening.

Needless to say, I was very happy that I made it through the evening pretty well.  I was able to laugh, make good conversation, and even answer all the "how are you doing" questions.  All in all, I was pretty happy.

I did have a few moments that were a little difficult.  One of the main one was at the very beginning of the night.  I was able to go with my two sister in laws, who both had children last year.  The babies are a few months older than Joshua was and I have never had a problem being around them...it has been the really little babies that have been harder to be around.  However, this was the first time I saw these kids together...the group of cousins that Joshua would have been growing up with.  I realized last night that they would be a constant reminder of Joshua not being here.  I will watch them grow up and realize where Joshua would be in his life if he were still here.  Man...I don't know why I never thought of that.  As I walked in behind my two sister in laws carrying their baby seats, I was very aware of mine not being there...knowing there should be. It was a reminder of my arms being empty.

However, when I was talking with my mom about it later (and getting a good cry in), she made a comment that I have thought a lot about.  She said that  that every bit of time that passes in this life gets me closer to the moment I will see Joshua again.  What a wonderful way to think about it.  There is nothing I can do about not having him with me now, but I can look forward to the time that I will see him again.  I can watch those precious cousins and use that as a gauge for how much time has passed and how we are getting closer and closer to that blessed day when I will hold him again.

This experience was just another example of my new normal...the normal that includes these reminders of my Joshua not being here.  But, there will always be an underlying tone of peace and hope...knowing we are getting closer and closer to seeing him again.

I have had so many of my facebook friends tell me how much they love reading my blog.  Because of that, I have decided to start a facebook page for people to like and I will update it when I have a new post.  If you are interested in following us on facebook, simply click the facebook icon on the sidebar.  Thank you, again, to all of you for your wonderful support and kindness during this difficult time in our life. 

I decided I wanted to have a collection of Joshua's funeral pictures in a slideshow.  It was actually very therapeutic for me to put this together.

I wanted to comment a little about the songs I picked for this slideshow.  The first one is called Jealous of the Angels by Jenn Bostic.  She actually wrote it after her father passed away, but I love the idea of the angels gathering around God and the reunion that must have happened when Joshua passed away. I am sure there were so many family members there to welcome him home and I am definitely jealous that I have to wait a little longer to be part of that, just like she talks about in her song.  The second song is To Where You Are by Josh Groban. Since Joshua passed, I know he has been close to our family, even though we can not see him.  He has become my guardian angel and I know he is there.  

I wanted these sweet messages to be what I remembered as I looked at these pictures.  

I love the message of this address given by one of the Apostles on the earth. Although he specifically addresses the grief we feel when we have lost a loved one, I think the message can apply to any time in our life we are feeling low. It will not be like that forever and if we turn to our Savior, we can find peace and hope for a brighter future.

I also think this is the perfect message to ponder as we start this Easter season.  Because of our Savior, Sunday truly will come...mortality will be over and we will live in peace and joy as resurrected beings.  I am so grateful for my Savior and the hope that comes with his infinite atoning sacrifice. 



 

Today, Logan really wanted to watch the "Josh movie."  It is the slideshow that the mortuary put together for us for the viewing and Logan LOVES watching it.  I usually do pretty well when we watch it, but today, it was not so easy.  Today, I felt the ache in my heart again and my arms felt very empty.

Grief is a really funny things sometimes.  Just when you think you are "getting over it,"  it hits you again when you least expect it.  This is why I think people say one never really gets over loosing a child.  I think the time between each "episode" gets longer and longer, they ever completely go away. 

I have been thinking about why God created this thing called Grief.  If we really are going to see our loved ones again and they really are in a better place, why do we have to go through this thing called grief? After much pondering, I have come to the conclusion that grief is a manifestation of the love we have for the person who is gone.  We grieve because we miss them.  We grieve because we want them close.  We grieve because they are not in our presence anymore.  We greive because we loved them. 

Once I thought about that, I find the process of grieving a little more tolerable.  I loved Joshua so much and my life is better because he was here.  I have these sad days because I loved him so much.  It makes me feel a little better about this hard thing called "grief". 

When we found out about Joshua's heart condition at my 20 week ultrasound, I never imagined the world we would be thrown into.  I seriously can't believe I am part of the world of some of the strongest, most amazing families.  There is so much power and strength to be found...and it is a world that most people never know exist.

 I am sure there will be more posts on this topic in the future, since this is the world I now live in, but I had an experience today that struck me.

One thing we do in our little world is we share blogs...it is a way that many of us feel like we can keep our angels alive and help people feel their special spirits.  When we link our friend's blogs on our sidebar, we usually title it with the little child's name...and you know the precious one has passed away when you add the title "Angel" in front of the name.

I have seen this done for countless other families and remember feeling something different whenever I saw that extra title.  Today, however, I saw the words "Angel Joshua" on a friend's blog and it hit me again...I am the mother of an angel.  I am part of a tight-knit world of women who have buried their children.  I am the mother of "Angel Joshua."
 I guess I am still trying to find myself within this new identity... because I am definitely not the same person I was before my little Joshua came into this world.  My hope is that I can take this new identity and make positive changes in my world.  I hope I can live in the moment and focus on the things that matter most.  I hope I can live up to the title "Angel Mom" and I hope Joshua can be proud of the family that is associated with his new title, "Angel Joshua." 

Last night, I received a call around 9:30 PM.  It was a guy that asked if I was the father/legal guardian of Joshua Ipson.  After confirming I was, he proceeded to ask if it were ok to ask a few questions regarding our Mountain View Hospital experience.  It was supposed to be a 5 minute survey.

I hesitated a little bit about the survey, but decided to proceed in taking it.  After all, it was only going to take 5 minutes.  He asked a few questions.  After two minutes, I realized how these questions were starting to take me back to the emotions of that morning.  He then asked, "If needed, would we decide to take the patient (Joshua) back to the ER again at Mountain View Hospital?"  This is when it occurred to me that he didn't know that Joshua died that morning.  I explained that many of the questions were hard to answer because Joshua passed away that morning of our ER visit.  He ended the survey at that point, mentioning that rest of the questions were insensitive and considering the circumstances, it would be best to end the survey.  He wished his condolences and then hung up.  

It was directly after the survey that I started to think about the date and that we were exactly 1 month out from that memorable night.  Stephanie and I spent the rest of that night tossing and turning as we thought back to that dreadful morning.  At 4:25 AM, I lay in bed thinking back to the time when the doctor officially said, "Stop the compressions.  Time of death at 4:25 AM."

Although it was a rough night, Stephanie and I had a pretty good day.  Overall, we stayed pretty busy with work, a lunch outing with a friend to McDonald's, a relief society activity, and a boys outing to the park to play disc golf.  One thing Joshua taught us was to treasure the moments.  As I reflect on the past month and the outings we've had with Logan, the time we spent with him seems more real.  More one on one.  More meaningful.  We will always remember Joshua for helping us realize how to live and treasure in the moment!

Tim and I went through all the wonderful notes and cards from everyone after the funeral and I found two more glorious necklaces that I LOVE!! I really don't feel like I am completely ready for the day until I have one of my Joshua necklaces on.  See the rest of my collection here.

One of Tim's co-workers gave me this one.  It is so simple and perfect!

This weekend, Tim and I were able to attend two wedding- in other words, two new eternal families began. It was wonderful.

On Friday, we attended the reception of one of our youth that we used to teach in Sunday school. As we walked into the reception and saw her glowing face, I couldn't help but think about my own wedding. Boy, we had no idea what journey we were about to embark on or how important it really was that we were married in the temple. I looked at this beautiful bride and hoped they would keep the gospel close to their hearts as life began. As the trials of life started, I hope they will come to realize just how blessed they really are to have an eternal family because they got married in the temple.

Our wedding almost 5 years ago.

Also, we were able to attend the sealing of one of Tim's really good friend yesterday. Oh, what a perfect thing for a grieving mother's heart!!! I loved witnessing the start of an eternal marriage! It was such a good reminder of the eternal perspective.

The beautiful couple as they start their own eternal family.

Oh, sweet is the peace the gospel brings!! I still ache to have my little boy here, but going to the temple yesterday, I am reminded that I have reason to rejoice!! "Oh, death, where is they sting?" It is definitely muted because of our Savior and His gospel. Jesus Christ has made it possible for me to hold my precious boy again and for us all to live together as an eternal family. When I ponder these eternal truths, the ache in my heart turns to a burning of peace and joy. Only the power of truth being testified could do that to a grieving mother's heart.

The Mount Timpanogas Temple

Oh, what a wonderful way to spend a weekend!! Oh, what a beautiful reminder of how wonderful our Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation really is! Oh, how blessed will be the day when I will, I WILL, see Joshua again. Oh, how wonderful that I have an eternal family.

I never thought I would say this during this time in my life, but we just got a check for being beneficiaries of a life insurance policy.  It was just a small policy, so the money wasn't a huge amount, but it was just another strange reminder of what we have gone through.

A few days ago, my husband and I were getting all of our information together so we can get our taxes done.  We have them done by a family member and they like to get them done early.

Anyway, I pulled out my calendar from last year to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything for mileage for my business.  I was struck hard as I realized what a completely different person I was last year.  Things that were so important to me before I just can't even imagine spending my time doing.  I went through the calendar week by week and I saw things like "Ultrasound appointment, 3:30pm" on July 25 (the appointment we found out about Joshua's heart conditions), "Dr. Schemmer, 1:30" (Our perinatalogist...specialized OB that would help with the delivery), "Dr. Su-Echotest, 9AM" (Cardiology and one of many fetal echos we had done."  By far, the hardest was seeing December 4 say "Scheduled Induction, be at hospital by 7AM"...we never made it to that day, but it was a reminder of Joshua's birth and the beginning of his earthly mission.

I was so incredibly emotional as I went through this calendar.  I felt like these events were centuries ago....sometimes it felt like a whole different lifetime.  I guess I was emotional because I am still trying to figure out my new normal, and it is not an easy transition. 

I have felt a strong urge over the past few weeks to study the gospel more.  Reading my scriptures was never something that was so easy for me, but recently, I feel like I can't get enough of it.  Not only does it bring the spirit to my heart, making me feel more at peace with everything, but I really do see the Plan of Salvation in everything and it makes me more hopeful that I will see Joshua again.


I have started reading this book as part of my study: The Infinite Atonement, by Tad R. Callister. I am so excited to dive deeper into this vital doctrine.  As I was reading the first few chapters of this book, I was struck by one of his paragraphs: "Every attempt to reflect upon the Atonement, to study it, to embrace it, to express appreciation for it, however small or feeble it may be, will kindle the fires of faith and work its miracle towards a more Christlike life.  It is an inescapable consequence of so doing.  We become like those things we habitually love and admire.  And thus, as we study Christ's life and live his teachings, we become more like him."

I am so excited to come closer to Christ by increasing my study of the Atonement.  I know that I need to keep living my life as faithful as I can so I can live with my Joshua again.

What are some of the ways you study the gospel, or get closer to your God?  Do you have a favorite scripture or book that you return to a lot?

We all had the experience as a kid with missing our mom or dad.  You know...that first sleep over or that first summer camp.  You knew, deep down, you would see her once the event was over, but in the moment, you just want your mom...and you are sad she isn't there right then.

Today, that is how I feel about Joshua.  I know that I will see him again and I will be able to raise him someday. My testimony of the gospel is so powerful and I am so grateful for that knowledge. Honestly, I can't imagine what it would be like to loose a child without the peace the gospel brings. But today, I just wanted him here. I wanted to hold him and kiss him.  I wanted to look into his eyes and see his smile.  I want to hear his cry again. I just wanted to snuggle him today...and it was really hard not having him here.

I feel like these days are ok to have every once in a while.  It is only natural to miss someone when they are not close.  I will just pull out his little blanket and snuggle that for now...and let the Savior comfort me and help me know that Joshua is close in spirit.

I love you, Joshua...just know that you are missed down here on earth. 

I just spent the last hour reading through Stephanie's posts over the last 2 1/2 weeks.  Even after a few weeks, the whole experience is so fresh in my mind and I was tearing about 59 of the 60 minutes.

Yesterday, I was talking with a friend that attended Joshua's funeral.  He mentioned that as time goes on, some of the memories he's had with his two sons has started to fade.  As I look back on my life, I believe it!  At the funeral, my friend decided he wanted to write more experiences and memories down for future reading.  After talking to him, I realized I have not written any of my feelings, thoughts, and experiences down since I wrote the words I spoke at Joshua's funeral.  Although some of the experiences, thoughts, and feelings I have had recently are one's I don't think I'll ever forget, I think it is good for others to have access to them--especially Stephanie.  Over the next few weeks, I want to write my memories from the time we found out that Joshua had a heart defect to the current day.  Today, it'll be my feelings from his baby blessing.

Joshua was very influencial to me, my family, and to all those around him.  Stephanie depicted this influence well in her post on Friday, February 22, "Dear Joshua".  In this post, she shares the letter she wrote the night after Joshua passed away and the mission he completed in his short earthly life.  What a great tribute it was! On December 8, 2012, I took our little Joshua in my arms and gave him a blessing.  In the baby blessing, I blessed him that "he would serve a mission".  I had a strong feeling at the time that the 'mission' was not the typical Mormon mission.  After the blessing and knowing his condition, I always pondered what type of mission call he might have--would it be an unique mission on earth or on the other side of the veil?  What was it that the Lord had in plan for him?  All I knew was that the Spirit prompted me to say those words at that time.

While Joshua was in the hospital, I took Logan to our home ward in Spanish Fork.  In Sunday School, a sister in the ward shared an experience that a father and a mother once had:  They had a son on life support in the hospital.  They prayed to know God's will and whether to keep their son on life support.  Obviously, they wanted their son to live.  The answer from God came to them as the boy's father was giving him a blessing--if you desire him to stay a little longer on earth, then keep him on life support and he will survive; however, the boy has a special mission that he needs to complete on this side of the veil.  The parents decided to let their desires go and allow God to take their son from them to help Him accomplish His work.  This story impacted me hard.  I thought back to Joshua's blessing and felt a strong feeling that Joshua had a mission on the other side as well.  Whether it was fear of losing my son as well, I'm not sure.  However, the Spirit testified to me that Joshua had an important mission that he would complete.  I didn't know where or when.  Little did I know that Joshua was already half way through his short earthly mission.

There were several times throughout his short life that I thought about his blessing and the story from Sunday School.  I really didn't know how long our sweet Joshua would live.  I thought perhaps 2 years, one at the least.  The fear of losing my son and having to bury him pained me greatly.  Each time I thought about it, I would break down crying.  All that carried me on was Stephanie's support and knowing that God had a plan and that His will would determine how long we would be able to enjoy Joshua in our arms.

My fear of burying my son came true that Wednesday morning of February 13.  The pain was great and even more intense than when I had thought about it.  However, in the pain and anguish, there was an inner peace in my soul.  I let the Lord touch my heart and reflect on the great things Joshua did while he was here on earth.  He completed his earthly mission--to bring as many of God's children closer to Christ in the short period of time he was here on earth; which included his own father.  Although I miss him greatly, I am sure he has moved onto his other mission on the other side of the veil.  What he is doing right now, we don't know.  However, I know he has work to do and someday he will be able to tell us all about it.

On the way to the cemetery, our driver from the mortuary said, "I'm not sure why I'm telling you this, but this week, there have been two other little children that have come into our mortuary.  I can't help but think that God must have a great work for all of them on the other side".  In our heart world, February was a difficult month--two of our ICU friends also lost their heart babies.  This makes me truly wonder the same thing as our driver:  Is the missionary work on the other side being strengthened just as it has been here on earth?  Someday we will be able to find that out.  Until then, we will always remember you Joshua and will try to keep your legacy alive!

I have said it before to many people and even on this blog post...Time has become a very strange thing to me all of the sudden.  Since Joshua's passing, I find myself with another "time issue,"...filling up my time again.

Really, during Joshua's 2 1/2 months of life, I did very little but take care of him and think about him.  Even our little Logan didn't get much of our time because Joshua really did require so much!  We would spend our whole day at the hospital...and sometimes even slept there!  I lived and breathed Joshua and all that came with him.  Now, he is being taken care of by others in heaven, I find myself in a strange place...how to fill my time.

It is even more funny when I think about my life before Joshua was here.  I thought I was SO BUSY....and yet, here I am with basically the same responsibilities and I feel like I have so much time on my hands...which just gives me too much time to think.  I also find that things I thought were important before are not as important any more.  I don't want to waste my life on things that are not going to matter.

So, with all these thoughts in my head, I attended a stake Relief Society meeting on Thursday night.  I wasn't sure I was going to go...these types of gatherings are still difficult sometimes, but I really felt like I needed to be there.  They did some break out sessions for different topics.  I was still very unsure which classes I was going to attend.  When they started explaining what classes were offered, I was struck as I looked at one of the speakers and knew I needed to go to her class.  I wasn't sure why, but go I did...

Turns out, this sweet sister was a fellow Angel Mom...she had lost her sweet son just over a year ago.  She spent the 30 minutes she had explaining so many feelings and experiences that I am having right now.  She talked about what is really important...like our relationship with our Heavenly Father, our families, and ourselves.

I know for a fact that Heavenly Father prompted me to go to that meeting.  As I figure out my life without Joshua on earth, I hope the Lord can help me figure out how to make the important things a priority.  I want to constantly work on my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I want to keep my family strong. I want to keep Joshua's mission and spirit alive.  I want my time to be filled with the things that matter...and I feel so grateful that Joshua has given me the perspective I need to make that happen.

I'm sure there will be more posts on this topic.  I have a feeling this will be a life-long pursuit.   The speaker at the meeting shared this perfect Mormon Message that explains my goals perfectly.  I love how the prophet Thomas S. Monson summarizes what we should be doing with our time. May we all review our life and make sure we are focusing on the things that matter most.
  

 Dear Joshua-
Today is your 3 month birthday. Days like today are some of the hardest to have you gone.  I think about what we might have been doing with you...maybe you would have passed your swallow study and we would be working on bottle feeds.  Maybe we would have met with early intervention and start helping you lift up your head.  Maybe you would be smiling more.  But, most of all, your spirit would be radiating just as strongly.

Joshua, that is what I miss the most right now...your sweet spirit.  Whenever I was with you, I couldn't help but feel the Lord with us.  I remember that more than ever now that I don't have it.  Suddenly, I have to do what everyone else has to do to feel the Savior near...I have to read my scriptures, say my prayer, and really work a little harder.  However, I find myself thriving on these things...because it is when the spirit of the Lord is with me, I feel your presence as well.  I am working extra hard now, Joshua, to stay in tune with the Spirit so I can feel your presence.  I know you are always with me and I just need to keep doing the right so I can feel you.

I have made it a goal of mine, Joshua, to help others feels your sweet spirit even though you are gone. You changed so many lives and I feel driven to keep changing lives with your spirit that lingers.  I hope you will help me as I figure out the best way to reach those that would benefit most by knowing you.

I love you, sweet boy.  I think about you every day.  Happy 3 month birthday.